Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:00 <inaudible> hello and welcome to woman off of the middle East podcast. This podcast relates to the realities of Arab women and their rich and diverse experiences. It's aims to present the multiplicity of foreman's voices and its wishes to break cultural stereotypes about women of the middle East, as well as educate and empower the younger generation of middle Eastern woman who were stripped off their historical reference. And weren't necessarily raised to believe in their agency and power to create their own destiny. Um, I'm, <inaudible>, I'm a feminist scholar and educator. I'm also the author of Arab woman and Arab news, all stereotypes. And you meet you. I created this podcast to be an extension and an update of the book and its main topic. Hello? I hope you're all. Well, I was so excited to receive your emails. Some of you shared their stories with me. I'm so humble that you trusted me with them.
Speaker 0 00:01:03 While some are willing to speak about their experiences with injustice and abuse, others would rather keep it to themselves. And in both cases, remember you on your story and it's only you who can decide on how to let it go. But what is important is that you release it so you can hear it. And I'm here to listen, whether you want me to share it or not. Another thing I've um, been asked about is why have I called the podcast woman of the middle East rather than woman in the middle East? Well, it's my attempt to transcend imposed geographical borders and cultural and religious boundaries between women and the collective experiences that bring us together. I wanted to put woman and a discourse of fluidity and freedom and talk about middle Eastern woman in a transnational context, my woman reside and the MENA region. And there are also the woman who orange unique from the MENA region, but reside elsewhere. Uh, they are the woman who have been influenced by the cosmopolitanism of ideologies, beliefs and realities from the so called East West, North South. So I hope I answered that question. This is episode six and Lori, I have slowed down. I haven't stopped as you see, I'll be posting one episode every month. As I found that the content that, that presents, isn't very easy to digest given you hopefully enough time to listen and react. And this episode, I talk about the Binny's woman by first contextualizing their struggle and the overall political butcher. Then I speak to <inaudible> who is a feminist and a human rights advocate. So now let's talk about living
Speaker 1 00:03:13 <inaudible>
Speaker 0 00:03:19 To speak about. The woman is to speak about a nation struggle, living on as a country with different faces, the beauty of its nature and climate and the diversity of its people are tarnished by its political and economic upheavals, which lifts the country an easy target for internal divisions, for example, and to take the post Arab spring era. As an example, Lebanon has been suffering from deteriorating economy has taken ends here and refugees, which has put further pressure on their economy. And in turn, the political tensions continued to escalate. Recently, the economic crisis has led the state to get over indebted. And this has decided to impose a tax on entering that calls like WhatsApp calls. This didn't go well with the people who have been struggling on daily basis. Let's at Lorne, the failure of the government to address pending issues such as unemployment increase if the poverty and the waste crisis that began in 2015, live in a non rent, 137 out of 180 countries, 180 being the worst on the transparency. International's 2019 corruption perceptions index. The people could then take it to anymore. And massive uprising took over the whole country against the government's corruption, which resulted in the resignation of the prime minister said that Harry Reed and October, 2019
Speaker 0 00:04:53 COVID-19 pandemic has hit hard. Then the economy that was already collapsing, exacerbating the crisis and exposing the inequalities and a society that has already suffered civil Wars and divisions then came the port explosion in Beirut on August 4th, 2020 that killed at least 200 people and injured about 5,000 others. Increasing abuses occurred to the marginalized populations, such as migrant workers. The majority of whom are women from Africa and Asia, at least seven of whom have taken their own lives since March, 2020. Another marginalized population is the refugees over 70% of the refugees and living on live under the poverty line.
Speaker 0 00:05:43 The country has a history of being a battlefield for secretary and secretary sectarianism is an identity politics and a way of living within the national identity at this mercy. The three main political president speaker of parliament and prime minister are divided among the three biggest communities, marinades Christians, Shia Muslims, and Sunni Muslims, respectively under an agreement dating back to 1943, needless to say that each group is concerned mainly, and as looking after their own interests, parliaments 128 seats are also divided evenly between Christians and Muslims, including Drew's Lebanese woman, a never ending struggle. Let's now zoom in and talk about feminism and women's rights and have an audience by giving a brief history and also standing on the main persistent challenges Lebanese women face Estefan in 2014, writes about the four waves of liberal feminism. She States a nice summarize here. The feminist movement and Lebanon has been active since the 1920s with the beginning of the work of upper class women and charity organizations.
Speaker 0 00:06:59 It then grew into wounds, labor organizations and Christian women. So there are two organizations for the forties, the end of the first wave of feminism coincided with the era of nation building the establishment of the first Lebanese Republic. Following independence from the French mandate in 1943, Lebanese woman won the right to vote and participate. And the national infections in 1953 to the kids before women or Switzerland second wave was during the sixties and seventies with the establishment of committees for women, by a number of political parties, especially communists can leftist to discuss their issues and ways that they're learning this. However, the living civil war broke out in 1975 as a direct result from the escalating tension between Palestinian refugees and the Christians allowing Syria to intervene. Women's civil rights, took it away burner to ending violence, which became the priority for all activists. The third wave was more international adopting international treaties for women, the UN conference on women and Billie Jean Marks the birth of the third wave of feminism in Lebanon and the 1990s international organizations effort brought to the Lebanese government to form a partnership pertaining to women and their social welfare services.
Speaker 0 00:08:26 And many other babies. The fourth wave was post the Arab spring around 2005 till present that here in 2005 was a year of term or in many spots in the middle East and Lebanon as well, global and multicultural feminism took center stage. It's also so the rise of many women's rights movement, many of which focused on raising awareness of domestic violence and protesting the vulnerability of its victims and the legal system that didn't protect some such as migrant workers and sexual minorities,
Speaker 0 00:09:12 2018 UN development program report entitled living on gender justice and the law. It gives us a fairly full list off institutional injustices, Lebanese women face gender nationality. Law women cannot pass their citizenship to their children. Marital rape is not criminalized. Abortion is prohibited. There is no law prohibiting early marriages. Women do not enjoy equal rights in marriage and divorce under personal status. Law. Look at me is not prohibited by personal status law for Muslims. Although it's rare, men have guardianship over children while women don't, except for our meaning Orthodox couples, women have custody over a young children and many conditions are imposed on their custody and rights. Wouldn't inherit less than men and the Islam club and the labor law women's maternity leave is 10 weeks, which is less than, um, what to international labor organization standards are, which is 14 weeks. Basically women are prohibited from certain occupations and domestic workers are excluded from the protection of the labor
Speaker 2 00:10:26 Law. A couple
Speaker 0 00:10:28 Of legal reforms took place that are worth mentioning the violence against women campaign succeeded to push forward the law in 2014, Ruth victim, who is a vetted East and North Africa women's rights researcher at human rights. Watch States that Lebanon's law on domestic violence finally recognizes that women subjected to use by husbands and families need protection and need them resources. But the law has serious flaws and the parliament should consider amendments to fully protect women from domestic violence. For example, the law doesn't cover other abuses such as marital rape divorce in 2017, the legal reform and women's rights and a Lebanese personal status laws and CMU CMI report speaks about the alteration of the Sunni personal status law to allow mothers to keep their children with them for a longer time. Following divorce activists worked for more than seven years to prove that there isn't typically a religious rule about that and worked with both politicians and religious money and thus the complaint to increase the custody age.
Speaker 0 00:11:44 Worked finally, a human rights watch has submitted the report to the United nations committee reviewing Lebanon's compliance the UN convention on the elimination of all forms of discrimination against women, which is tentatively scheduled for June, 2021. One of the main issues that haven't been addressed since the previous review in 2015 is the recommendation to have a unified personal status quote. They currently have 15 religion based personal status laws. That's where to us that mending, uh, um, off the discriminatory nationality law to ensure that Lebanese woman married to non-Lebanese men can pass on their citizenship to their children. No, in this segment, I'm happy to talk to Zainab, holla, a feminist and a human rights advocate with a bachelor degree in biology. And master's in public health from the American university of Beirut. Ms. Sienna is a certified gender trainer from a kit university. I mastered them. And have you been working with international organizations for the past 10 years as a development and gender expert? She has extensive experience in programming policy work research and organizational development and critical areas related to gender mainstreaming and promoting women's participation and the decision making spheres. First of all, I would like to know more about you, if you can present yourself, tell us a bit about you, your background, which is very diverse and very interesting.
Speaker 3 00:13:26 I'm very pleased to be with new OSA today. I, in my, comes from a background in public health and biology, some science background, but when I started working, I started in research and public health research. And then I shifted into development by working with them and still social lessors and international organization. And then I was driven to, um, the social field. So I've been working for the past 10 years in gender and development, and I pursued a higher education in gender studies. Um, and uh, now it's my flash and I'm a feminist, a woman activist. And it's, it's what they do.
Speaker 0 00:14:03 I read that, that you said, um, that because of institutional barriers and, um, patriarchy, um, that are impeding the attainment of any real progress in terms of gender equality and the social development institutions, you felt powerless and you wanted to do more. Uh, tell me more about that, that you're, you're at this shift in your career and you're focus
Speaker 3 00:14:29 There's commonality between the Arab planters in terms of structural values that this woman, uh, and the attainment of gender equality in Neverland. And there's also the, uh, the institutionalized and the Securian system, which adds one extra layer of, uh, of barriers for women. So, uh, um, you, you need to put some points where you feel you're powerless to the sea glass ceiling. Uh, and then, uh, uh, I had the, it was like a career juncture where I really went to feminist, uh, just feminist higher education, like tours. And then, um, I came up head back motivated and really, uh, like, um, believing that woman's agency and having this collective work is the only way for us, for women to achieve, uh, the equality agenda. Uh, when we talk about Kevin is women, the status quo has always been highly to edge on one hand, there's a white emancipation in terms of participation of cultural and social lives, but in terms of, uh, gender parity in education, uh, and yet, uh, we have limited participation and economic life and striking backwardness and the participation in the political life.
Speaker 3 00:15:45 And also, um, uh, Lebanon is one of the countries that have enacted the fewest, uh, changes to discriminate personnel slapped a sloth. So, uh, the imbalance and power dynamics between men and women starts from the privates, phew, the household, a woman are prejudiced against there's discriminated against in terms of the status laws. We have 16 personnel status. That's contamination is not only, uh, between men and women, it's among the woman themselves. So you and your neighbor may be subjected to different clothes based on your sex, sex, religion, and terms of, uh, custody inheritance. Uh, so, uh, so there's this combination against women and also among women between women, uh, as a group, as a group themselves. So, uh, we were all sort of <inaudible> citizen ships with their children, which goes back to the <inaudible> in 1920, uh, that hasn't been modified yet. And even those, uh, um, that's where presented most of them discriminate against the different groups of women in Lebanon.
Speaker 3 00:16:59 So like <inaudible> was presented that allows women to granted citizenship if their husband is like not some neighboring countries. So like not as Palestinian or Syrian or so, uh, so, um, there was no really, uh, no really, uh, um, rightful law presented for instance, and now on the citizenship, uh, issue, uh, uh, there were slight modifications and not the person I respect as low as the, uh, mainly pertaining to early marriage, the minimum age of marriage. Uh, but yet still there's no consensus among the different, uh, stack some sex have not enacted any changes. Others have did some modification. And also, uh, when we think about it, it also comes down to enforcement and how, uh, the application of these laws discourse are ruled by men. And so in many times it goes to the initiatives of that that are just and responsible in the core, uh, whether to, uh, really, uh, grant the woman, her rights for, um, uh, personal, uh, rights or just, um, find an excuse not to.
Speaker 3 00:18:11 And it's very easy for society, you know, like she's not mentally stable or she has a certain behavior that's not adequate or whatever, uh, uh, against women to, um, uh, to, uh, take the children away from them or, uh, not to have the, uh, appropriate alimony. So, uh, um, so we have, uh, we have problems at the social norms level at the legal level, uh, at the legislative level, at the enforcement level, and also at the institutional level, because, um, as I said before, the same power dynamics that women, the imbalance in the power dynamics that women face in the private sphere and at the health one sphere, they face every other sphere in the public sphere at the community and the, uh, in the marketplace in the, um, and the, uh, uh, I mean, in the workplace, uh, and the legal level, even in the political life, it's not acceptable in 2020 to have, uh, 4% of, uh, the parliament only a woman or a, and the only increase.
Speaker 3 00:19:18 I mean, it's like, uh, it's a study shows that if we keep with the same pace, it will take us more like hundred 50 years toward it's policy. This is not acceptable. I mean, uh, with the active participation of women in distortion lies, uh, and the lack of representation of this, um, participation in the political lines and the, um, uh, uh, and in economic life now, it's, uh, I mean, it's estimated that on 30%, the participation of women in the, uh, workforce, uh, but this doesn't reflect the educational attainment. We have more girls in schools than boys, where do these girls go after education? Why, why don't they join the workforce? So, um, this is just like a brief overview of the status
Speaker 4 00:20:08 Is media representing movement, Lebanese woman, are they doing a woman justice? And the representation, do we see those, um, institutionalized and structural discrimination represented when speaking about women and, uh, on TV shows, um, w w you know, whatever, uh, they are represented and on media, as media playing their role to expose such injustices, this would be definitely one question, but the other one with the number of women, and I'll tell you how Lebanese women are perceived as well. You know, we perceive the, as a woman, as a strong educated woman who had pushed the gender equality agenda on multiple levels, uh, there is a very, um, uh, thriving, civil society and Lebanon, but why aren't they reaching, uh, to the goals they are? You know, why aren't their goals being achieved, basically.
Speaker 3 00:21:08 Yeah. Yeah. So first concerning the major, uh, I think, yes, the media plays a negative load and put in portraying like one category of Lebanese woman and having like, we it's portrays like one as if <inaudible> a woman on one particular, and this is not. So we have to talk nowadays a lot talking about intersectional vulnerability. So we don't have Wonka ticket, a woman. We have that's usually women would have to do it. A woman. We have the urban woman facing discrimination in the workforce. We have, uh, even as I said before, among the drivers sex, we have various discriminations and the personal staff is low. So, um, even in terms of emancipation, um, I mean, uh, some prompts, assumptions, scientist in Lebanon are not, uh, don't have, uh, I mean the same level of evidence, a patient women don't have the same as others. So the media negatively portrays one, one image of the Lebanese woman.
Speaker 3 00:22:03 And this is not correct as for everything, the issues of raising woman issues. I mean, recently I can say, like, in the last couple of years, uh, awareness raising campaigns were recovered by the media. We have some shows that target women's issues that, uh, talk about the, discuss it. So we have starting to board there, and media professionals are definitely, shouldn't be a target group for a woman activist because they're the ones that can amplify their voice and make it reachable to a large audience. As for the, we have w two, we have a very vibrant civil society and a lot of women activists, but, but first personally, I believe that since there's no agreement on like one agenda, uh, one feminist agenda, one woman's rights agenda, uh, and also because some, we have like extreme feminist who, uh, would push for the max and then some others would comfort my, so, uh, I think this is, um, this should be worked out. Uh, it's always working on women issues really should come with a common agenda, at least one common objective. And each camp objectives it's can implement in its own way, the way they perceived most appropriate, but there should be a common agenda, and this is still lacking, uh, the, uh, competition over funds. So, uh, and in most of the services provided for women in Lebanon <inaudible> and they, uh, rely on donors funding. So, uh, this is an intrinsic, the state, uh, doesn't provide services, even for instance, with GBV survivors, uh, all services are provided <inaudible>.
Speaker 3 00:23:57 Uh, so, uh, uh, I think it's an influencing issue. Uh, the competition over the limited funding because of a development project, we know that less than 5% at 40 gender in some say less than 3%, so there's serious competition. And this impedes actually having like, uh, fruitful correlations or those that work towards a common objective.
Speaker 4 00:24:29 Yeah, I was actually on, it was the state stroll, but you've answered that basically. Um,
Speaker 3 00:24:36 I can just add a bit more at what the States, it's still piecemeal reforms. I'm in <inaudible> here. We offer a service there, but there's no holistic approach to empowerment. Uh, even for instance, when, uh, they, you identify the domestic violence, uh, it's a well-known, it's like a success story. One of the successes in 2014, yet they didn't want to acknowledge like women in the law. They said woman and all other family members, so they don't want to include a gender in the law. So there's really no political will, if I may say to achieve gender equality, we're just like, uh, we just want to show that we are abiding by our international commitments. We, we provide our periodic reporting, we send our, but it's really, uh, it's not, it's not, it's not, uh, uh, it's not the effective way to overcome all of those structural barriers.
Speaker 4 00:25:34 I agree with you on, it's very interesting because this happens again, would the inputs, right? Uh, very recently, um, as if our countries, um, wants to take on themselves, um, the responsibility of women grow state. So when our oldest grouped with family, with children, with the end, in some cases with the disabled, with, um, but this show is this actually reflected in back off a very clear vision and very clear national agenda when it comes to, uh, a woman's rights when the gender equality. And this is basically across, not just in Lebanon, really unfortunate thing.
Speaker 3 00:26:17 I don't want to expect the woman out of state of productive road. They want to limit them productive. Look, that's why it's on this woman and the family woman and the children. Um, and this is a bit like, uh, I think it's 10 for us women to, uh, really it is our voices on this issue.
Speaker 4 00:26:34 Then. Interesting you say that. And I, I think, um, and this is why our citizenship rights are, uh, reduced, were, uh, reduced to a second, uh, second class citizens. Um, one of which is we can surpass our nationality to our children. And basically because we, we, um, satisfied a predetermined role in our society, which is the reproductive role. Our role is to keep the culture intact, to, um, reproduce generations of nationals. Uh, where are Oh, rights as humans. You're absolutely right. Wow. Um, what do you think the Lebanese woman's role was in the revolution? Um, you know, how does woman's presence affect the outcome of the revolution? Of course, you know, women are frequently seen as symbols of revolution and like what happened in Lebanon and Sudan, for example, and more
Speaker 3 00:27:34 17 October was a tension point because Hooman took over the streets. They brought the dogs in the streets and everyone was chanting women's rights and minority group. And it was an opportunity <inaudible>, I mean, for a woman to, uh, actually to fly with the Russians, the feminist session, but, uh, people were very excited and they believed in change and they recording footage, submitted state. And I believe after, um, I mean, that's, what's very nice for too when we, uh, we, we go back, we see that when things like calm down and those leaders sat together on the table to discuss, there were no women present on the decision-making table. So, um, unfortunately, uh, it, it couldn't manifest. And even, uh, if I may say that the cab, like you were just mentioning, we have, uh, 30%, uh, of the minister said as women, and yet many of them, uh, responsibilities were stripped away from them.
Speaker 3 00:28:38 I think that's, we, we expecting more from them. We expected more, but because they were, uh, named by, uh, by a political figures, they had to abide by that agenda. Uh, they couldn't have a say, so it was just a point, but it wasn't the best image to be portrayed of a woman in decision-making. And that's why I, I don't really put a lot of emphasis on the last Japanese. I mean, it's not like a changing, it's not the changing as still the woman, uh, missing from the stock of the actual decision-making table. They're not present when we have the blast. When president McCrone came to meet with the leaders, there were no women at the table. So, um, despite all the efforts, we're not actually taking part in building our new, I mean, the new future, um, we're all talking about the new Lebanon yet, a woman, a woman who really stayed on the switch for a long time. I'm not able to have a steak on the tables where the decisions are sacred. So, um, unfortunately already that efforts did not manifest. And we hoped for
Speaker 4 00:29:58 Which is, this is the cycle of history for a woman in our part of the world. Um, well, you've alluded to the intersection of oppressions, uh, that fates woman. Um,
Speaker 3 00:30:16 Yes, yes,
Speaker 4 00:30:18 Actually about that. And especially about migrant workers and Lebanon, I think, um, um, women, you know, um, uh, especially in Lebanon, Blackboard, um, uh, working in the domestic Sophia have been discriminated against, um, I need different forms. Um, there were images circulating after covered hits of domestic workers being left, stranded on able to go to their countries. Uh, was there a solidarity are an opposition for, for, you know, for that, um, that took place. What do you think, um, that's reflected and about the feminist movement and the demonic?
Speaker 3 00:31:06 I mean, the issue of migrant domestic workers was always an issue that we discussed a civil society because the <inaudible> system is unjust. Um, so, um, the, there was, there was, I mean the last couple of 10 years or so there was the unified contract, what it wasn't really, I mean, enforced the, the, you know, migrant domestic workers come. Some don't have the capacity to really some, so it was just as I say, piecemeal reform. So we should have about a stick in front of system because at the, um, households could not afford to pay your dollars, uh, after the economic and financial crisis. And there was no way out because, uh, so, uh, the, the government, the state did not take extra responsibility. The emphasis does not stick the responsibilities, uh, and they usually wait in case it's left to the initiative of the person.
Speaker 3 00:32:09 So, uh, we ended up with the very, very, I mean, it's, it's one of the saddest images done in that we had the witness, uh, with Margaret domestic worker being left near the embassies. I mean, even the emphasis did not open the doors for, for, for the MDW, um, and the international community. Also, I think it could have done better, um, at least in terms of supporting, uh, them in going back to the ratchet of countries, but we can't rely on initiative here and initiatives <inaudible> systems should stop. Shouldn't be about us. So this is what we've been requesting. This is what we've been advocating for for the last 10 years, but as everything else, because it's something that has to do with women with weak women coming from, I mean, women coming from vulnerable communities, woman who has no say it was just out of the agenda.
Speaker 3 00:33:07 This brings me to a very important point. The financial and economic collapse definitely has a differential impact on women, the GDP, um, that it is in such a short deck that the by 25%, from 2017, for 2020, which is projected to a 16.5 loss and in the jobs out of which are 50,000 for women. So, um, so it's like, it's, it has affected women differently because women are unemployed in vulnerable sectors and the economic crisis effected women dissident here, everything is negative, right? It comes down to women. So women are losing their jobs. Uh, the only things that the only job available jobs available to them, the upgrade list ones with no social security system, uh, being abused and long hours minimally paid. So, um, uh, so effective date for the first time in Lebanon, it's said, it's been said like, Oh, those are skipping meals to four meals for children. The, uh, protein intake from animal products is less than the recommended one. So this is, this is the crisis. They know what is your hope,
Speaker 4 00:34:29 Uh, or what's your hope for a woman and non for the coming era post COVID era
Speaker 3 00:34:38 And looping back to Lebanese woman, really a unified around a Tivoli status, low person, or status low. This is a model. This is the first emancipation. Ah, we should have, eh, eh, that's, uh, that makes all women equally against the legal system. We should, um, we should definitely add a new, uh, economic, um, uh, structure that takes into consideration. Women's need woman should have the same social security systems, uh, as men, they should be able to have, uh, for instance, the national social security fund, they should, the same laws should apply for men and women. Um, and, uh, w we cannot do all of this. If we don't have women, more women representatives in the decision making series, we want women leaders, women, uh, actively working in the political life to also take our
Speaker 0 00:35:38 Agenda, to take it to the decision-making table. So we should be working along these lines. Totally agree with you. It's refreshing actually to see someone with such pragmatic solutions that can be scaled across the MENA region, leading cause is exactly what they need, right. Um, minds like yours, uh, coming up with very pragmatic solutions. Dana, thank you so much. It's, it's been a pleasure to talk to you. Thank you. <inaudible> to talk to you this morning, before I end this episode, I would like to shed the light on one of many feminist organizations. And nevermind, as I've mentioned before, living on has a robust and active feminist civil society. COFA written as K a F a and meaning enough in Arabic is as the website States, a feminist secular Lebanese, nonprofit, non governmental civil society organization, seeking to create a society that is free of social economic and legal patriarchal structures that discriminate against women.
Speaker 0 00:36:46 Gaffer has been aiming to eliminate all forms of gender based violence and exploitation since its establishment in 2005, please visit their website, which is in both English and Arabic, and has a wealth of resources, including articles, campaigns, and videos. I've selected one of their videos to showcase here. Two of my students and the EMI program and audio visual translation translated and transferred the video into an audio version through voice overfeeding. This feed through is a part of a sexual violence campaign where the experience of a puppet demanding the criminalization of harassment Magruder is the Puppet's name. And as the website describes her represents every girl and woman subjected to sexual violence in the streets at work or in any public place,
Speaker 3 00:37:40 Liar, it was not rape. She wanted it all along. This is what you wanted. I can, God helped those who have daughters. Girls are an affliction and affliction. It's her fault. When does she dress like that? And walk like that? Can't you see the world is not a safe place. I'll tell you, goodness, she should just stay home and get married. She wants this, but doesn't like it, Oh my God, this generation. And yet people are still executes this behavior and make up their own stories. And the victim is still holding out for hope harassment. You shouldn't carriage was rape.
Speaker 0 00:38:24 Reach the end of episode six, as we were reaching the end of 20, 20, 20, 21, we'll find solutions to our problems and end to our miseries. I hope that you compensates us for what, 20, 20 the tours. And I hope you stay safe and peace and love too. I'd like to conclude with the following words viral of me doing, as others told me I was blind coming. When others called me, I was lost. Then I left everyone myself as well. Then I found myself as well.
